Giant Skittle, Los Angeles Edition

A couple weeks ago I made it down to the city that still holds the place of honor in my (gastronomical) heart, the City of Angels. You just can't beat the variety of deliciously lowbrow, fantastically authentic, amazingly affordable food of every ethnic strain that you can get in LA. And when I say LA, I don't just mean LA proper but pretty much the entire metropolitan area of LA. I bite my thumb at those East Coast transplants who move to LA pursuing some misguided dream (of acting, writing, producing, what have you) and do nothing but complain about how LA "isn't a real city." No, it's not a city, peoples--it is, as Mike Davis put so fetchingly in his brilliant book, City of Quartz, Los Angeles is an "urban galaxy," and I pay my most heartfelt homage to the unshakeable heart and soul at its epicenter.

We proceeded to eat our ways through the metropolitan area, stopping first for Indian buffet in the overlooked city of Artesia, otherwise known as "Little India." Drove up the 5-North to downtown where I scored a cool blanket at The Dock Downtown, and a set of plates in Little Tokyo. Then, on to the La Brea Tar Pits and LACMA, one of my favorite museums, where we saw an Oakland-based singing group called the Slammin' All-Body Band (they used no instruments, just their mouths and bodies).

After that, we made it to the unlikely neighborhood of Eagle Rock, the "gateway to the Valley" (not sure how prestigious a title that is). Proceeded to wait over an hour for a table at Casa Bianca Pizza Pie--but we whiled away the time at next-door bar, The Chalet, which was a pleasant surprise. Unpretentious, ski lodge-themed, warm, great drinks and laidback vibe. Before we knew it, it was time to chow down. We got right to work, ordering fried zucchini sticks, two pizzas (sausage-mushroom and canadian bacon-tomato), plus a pitcher of wine. All to be had for the measly sum of $44.00 for four people. The zucchini and sausage-mushroom pie were a big hit; the canadian bacon a little too sweet for my taste.




Anyhow, in hopes of proving my unwavering love of this misunderstood and oft-vilified metro area, here is the latest edition of Stephanie's Patented List of "Things I'll Miss About LA Proper." All rights reserved. Hope you have as much fun trying this stuff out as I had compiling it.

In and Around Miracle Mile (where I lived for 2 years)

• Pulp: a stationery store on La Brea with lots of snazz and character—I liked using their special papers to make handmade cards for all occasions.
• The Fairfax Branch of the Los Angeles Public Library, because of the free wireless for all!
• Fatburger. I might even dare to say that it's better than In N Out.
• Little Ethiopia, that tiny 2-block stretch just south of Olympic on Fairfax. Nyala is definitely the best, as it redefined my (none too flattering) notion of Ethiopian food. Sour flatbread, but not too sour, and excellent lamb. Rosalind’s is another good choice, and Hansen's Cakes is two doors down.
• United Oil gas station on Pico x. La Brea. Cheapest gas to be had in the area.
• The LACMA. It's free after 5pm, when you can browse the collections at leisure. I'll particularly miss Friday nights, when there is free jazz in the courtyard.
• The historic Farmer's Market on Third. Highlights: gumbo at Gumbo Pot, roti canai and laksa at Banana Leaf, fine gourmet groceries at Monsieur Marcel, Harris Ranch beef from the butcher, tortilla soup and pretty much everything at Loteria, which certainly has the most complex-ly flavored Mexican food to be had anywhere). Also, the tastiest corned beef hash (the way corned beef hash SHOULD be) and biscuits with sausage gravy at Charlie's. Oh, and the bear claws at the donut/coffee shop.
• Hopping movies and watching the fountain at The Grove.
• Croissants at Susina, which are some of the best croissants you can get Stateside. Also their chocolate chip macaroons, chewy cookies, pot of tea, Elixir tonics, black cherry soda. (stuff that's not so great: Italian cookies, brownies, almond twists).
• All the furniture stores on La Brea. Favorites include Rapport , Little Paris Antiques, The Silk Trading Company .
• Tapas and sangria at Cobra Lily (which unfortunately has closed down).
• Meeting people for drinks and/or dinner at Luna Park.
• Fries and mind-blowing garlic sauce at Trimana Grill on Wilshire. There's really no reason to get fries anywhere else.
• One of the last two remaining black and gold leaf trim Art Deco buildings on the north side of Wilshire just east of La Brea.

West Hollywood and surroundings

• Santa Monica Boulevard. Hate it as you may, it's still the most direct way from Hollywood to Beverly Hills/Santa Monica.
• Late night healthy snacking at Swinger's diner on Beverly.
• The neighborhoods between San Vicente and Beverly and between Fairfax and La Cienega. Adorable houses.
• Martinis of every flavor at gay bar, The Abbey.
• Birthday cakes from Sweet Lady Jane. My favorite was the raspberry lemon curd.
• The Millenium dog and chili cheese fries at Pink's.
• Falafel and stuffed grape leaves (the best I’ve ever had), plus the excellent fire-pit lounging at Noura.
• Pretty much everything on the menu at any of Bossa Nova's three locations. Believe me, I ate here often enough to know the menu by heart. I always had either the traditional grilled skinless boneless chicken breast with plantains, black beans, rice, and yucca flour (sometimes I had the grilled mahi mahi or Chilean seabass, which were also excellent). The Sunset location is famous for their fantastic pizzas (except the smoked salmon one. I mean, why not have your salmon with a bagel?). Also try the appetizer, I forget what it's called, but it's chunks of chicken wrapped in bacon, deep fried, and served on a bed of gorgonzola cream sauce. Yes. It's a heart attack on a skewer.
• Bagels from La Brea Bagel.
• Green corn tamales, the sweetest and most succulent ever, at El Coyote.
• Matzoh ball soup and assorted pastries from Canter's Jewish deli.
• The Jim Henson Lot on La Brea between Fountain and Sunset. It's so, so very cute.
• The stretch of funkadelic shopping on Melrose between La Brea and Fairfax, and the hoity-toity shops west of Fairfax, also on Melrose. Love to browse Fred Segal's and Jonathan Adler in particular.
• The Smoke Stack sandwich at Toast.
• Chocolate Chip pancakes and Chili-My-Soul chili assortment at The Griddle Café.
• The DGA headquarters next door.
• The mashed potatoes at Lala's Argentinian Grill.
• All the pizza, plus the cannoli at Albano's Pizzeria. The most decent cannoli/pizza to be found on the Westside.
• Table 8. A little pricey, but the drinks are delicious, as are their small plates.
• Bristol Farms and Whole Foods Markets.
• Pulled-pork sandwich at Zeke's BBQ.
• Probably the most interesting discovery was Uzbekystan. Particularly like the bad Russian music on the weekends, plus the lamb stuffed dumplings, stuffed beef roll, and blini with salmon.
• India's Oven may be the only decent Indian food you can get around these parts.
• The view from Liberace's old apartments on top of an old building on Beverly Dr.
• Martinis of every flavor at Lola’s on Fairfax.

Hollywood/Hancock Park/Larchmont

• My favorite bar in the whole world, Cat and Fiddle English pub. All the food is awesome (English favorites), good drinks, but best of all is the wonderful courtyard and fountain where you can sip on a warm summer night.
• Any of the saltados and the shrimp chowder at Mario's Peruvian Seafood.
• Tom kha gai (it's a revelation), pad kee mow, pad thai, Hainan chicken and various other dishes at Sanamluang Café in Thai town.
• Palm's Café aka Thai Elvis.
• The Velvet Margarita for a funky electric vibe and furniture covered in furry fabrics.
• Chicken noodle soup and tuna fish sandwich at Larchmont Deli.
• The roast leg of lamb at Le Petit Greek on Larchmont. A bit pricey though.
• The gorgeously beautiful houses all around Hancock Park. Best stretch to check out is on Rossmore from Melrose all the way down to Wilshire, where you can see an assorted collection of modern, Storybook, Craftsman styles. Cameron Diaz lives in this area.
• Off-Broadway Shoe Warehouse. I think I still have $0.34 store credit to use there.
• The Bourgeois Pig coffee shop. It's offbeat and writerly.
• Summer night picnics at The Hollywood Bowl. It's an LA institution.
• Ramen of all kinds at Atch-Kotch.
• Cuban food and live music on the weekends at El Floridita.
• Watching bigscreen-worthy movies at the Arclight Cinema.
• Roast chicken and hummus at Zankou Chicken.
• The El Capitan Theater, where I attended many a premiere and cast & crew screening. Parking sucks, of course.
• That building that served as an incredibly enormous double-sided billboard visible from the corner of Santa Monica Blvd. and Highland.
• Grub offers a superfresh, tasty brunch in an intimate cottage-style setting.

Beverly Hills/Century City/Beverlywood

• Probably the best thing Century City is Clementine, a wonderful tiny little cafe that serves up a seasonal menu of fresh baked goods (I love their ginger snap cookies and pumpkin bread), sandwiches, soups, salads. The chili is famous, I swear by the egg salad sandwich, autumn chicken salad sandwich (the spring chicken isn't quite as good), cold soba noodle salad, lentil soup, couscous, and roast beef sandwich. Sometimes they have afternoon tea. Seriously, it's just wonderful--try it sometime!
• Sam, the super friendly owner at New York Deli in the Century City mall, who serves up delicious, healthy matzoh ball soup, enormous salads, gooey brownies, the best split pea soup, whitefish salad sandwiches, veggie soup, various array of hot and cold sandwiches, fresh fruit, and all kinds of breakfast items including a very good corned beef hash.
• Half price appetizers and $5 martinis at Chaya Brasserie on Monday nights.
• Elat Market on Pico/Robertson, for cheap, cheap groceries and the freshest, most delightfully doughy pitas and flatbreads ever.
• Dollar Taco Tuesdays at El Torito.
• The mod-glam outdoor poolside patio at Blue on Blue @ the Avalon Hotel on Olympic/Beverly Dr. Steep prices, beautiful people.
• Grilled salmon on a bed of mashed potatoes at Louise's.
• Ugo for decent priced pastas (great gnocci in 4-cheese sauce or pesto) and the awesome rack of lamb. Salads are NOT good though.
• Spinach ravioli in pesto sauce at Rosti. It’s the best ravioli I’ve ever had.
• Asahi Ramen, Hurry Curry, and the Happy Six boutique on Sawtelle Blvd. between Olympic and Santa Monica Blvd. Recent discovery is Chabuya Ramen House on Sawtelle, owned by this crazy ramen chef from Japan who elevates ramen to an art form.
• Driving through the Golden Triangle.

Los Feliz/Silverlake Area

• The Hollyhock House, a converted mansion in Los Feliz (Barnsdale).
• House of Pies in Silverlake.
• Actually, the entire area of Silverlake. I love it. It's exactly the neighborhood I imagine living in, in my wildest dreams.

Koreatown

• BCD Tofu House.
• Driving by the famous Ambassador Hotel where RFK was assassinated.
• Koffea coffee house. It's this converted old mansion filled with rooms of interesting furniture.
• Palm Tree for karaoke.
• Hodori on Olympic and Vermont for 24-hour-a-day bi bim bap and other tasty Korean eats.
• Hannam Supermarket next door, where I got reasonably priced Asian groceries.

Downtown/Chinatown

• Central Library
• Grand Central Market
• The Music Center. Many a free opera/concert/ballet enjoyed here compliments of my friend who worked at the Los Angeles Opera.
• The Frank Gehry-designed Disney Concert Hall.
• The fashion, fabric, and jewelry districts where the stuff is cheap and Mexican women sell fried sausages and fresh mangoes on the street.
• Lamb French-dipped sandwich and the incredibly hot, sinus-busting mustard at Phillippe's Original French Dip.
• Dim sum favorites (cha siu buns, ha gow, etc.) at Won Kok in Chinatown.
• Roast duck and cha siu at Sam Woo's BBQ.
• All the little trinket stalls in Chinatown.
• Black bean pastries at Phoenix Bakery—been coming here since I was a little girl and it’s the only place I’ve ever found that makes such good pastries with black bean inside (usually it’s mung or red bead).
• The Dock Downtown. It’s this gigantic furniture warehouse that culls overstock items from local furniture/home designers and sells it at discount prices.
• 7^th Street in the rain, at sunset, looks almost like New York.
• The 4^th Street Bridge.
• Passing by, but never stopping at, MacArthur Park.

Westwood/Santa Monica/Venice/Malibu

• OMG, the breakfasts at John O'Groats!!! It is fantastic, even if they do just use Sysco pancake mix, and they offer fresh coffee to those waiting for a table.
• Chips and salsa at El Cholo. The food is only average though.
• The excellent beer selection at Library Alehouse.
• Huge-portioned pasta dishes and delishous garlic bread knots at C&O Trattoria.
• The boardwalk along Venice.
• Cookies at Diddy Riese.
• Walking along the Palisades or whatever that strip of sidewalk overlooking Santa Monica Beach is called.
• Neptune's Net in Malibu for the freshest seafood ever. Great crab cakes.
• Hot Dog on a Stick in the Westside Pavilion.
• Father’s Office for the 70+ handcrafted beers on tap, basket of shoestring fries, and the second best gourmet burger I’ve ever had (the first is the burger you get off the bar menu at Craftsteak in New York).

Culver City

• Tito's Tacos
• The nicest of all studio lots at Sony Picture Entertainment.
• $3 beers and the best chicken wings at Backstage Bar.
• ½ roast chicken, shredded pork, and lamb at Versailles Cuban Food.
• Honey’s Kettle Fried Chicken, the more accessible (read: yuppie) extension of a Compton favorite. Just great, down-home southern fried chicken and all the fixins.

The Valley

• Traversing the slightly dangerous but ever-challenging Laurel Canyon pass. I've done Mulholland too, but that's just too scary.
• The Cahuenga Pass and coming down the hill on Barham.
• Nickelodeon Studios on Olive.
• Potato balls, meat pie, ham croquettes, Cuban sandwiches, and a cornucopia of baked goods at Porto's Bakery in Glendale and now Burbank.
• Lamb/beef shawerma laffa and/or pita at Pita Kitchen on Van Nuys/Ventura Blvd. It is seriously the best shawerma I've ever had, anywhere. Phenomenal.
• Sherman Oaks' Restaurant Row along Ventura, between the 405 and Coldwater Canyon. It's the place to go if you don't want to deal with the soulless chain-restaurant horrors on La Cienega’s restaurant row, but still want to celebrate an anniversary/birthday/other special occasion in a small, warm, intimate setting with lots of great gourmet food. Check out the many French cafes/bistros (like Le Petit Restaurant, this wonderfully unpretentious yet classy little place that serves French food full of integrity, Cafe Bizou (where I celebrated Valentine's Day, oh wonderful!), La Frite, Le Petit Jacques) plus a fondue place (La Fondue Bourguignonne) with a prix-fixe menu.
• The killer shrimp at Killer Shrimp.
• Getting cheap DVDs at The Warner Bros. lot and the Universal lot.
• The gardens and architecture at the Getty, especially the view from the south stairwell. Not a fan of the collections, except Starry Night by Edvard Munch.

Beyond

• The Rose Bowl Flea Market
• The Huntington Gardens and Library. Especially English Tea served daily (reservations required).
• Din Tai Fung Dumpling House in Arcadia.
• That neighborhood in Arcadia where peacocks roam freely on peoples' driveways and porches.

Stuff I never got to try but really wanted to

• A double-feature at the new Beverly Cinema. They play the best movies for discerning cinephiles.
• Tam O' Shanter in Atwater Village for Irish? English? cooking
• Café des Artistes in Hollywood. Where all the cool bohemians hang out.
• The Original Pantry in Downtown.
• Amoeba Music in Hollywood.
• Sushi Katsu-ya and Sushi Nozawa (the sushi nazi!)
• The inside of the Fox Theater in Westwood.
• Il Fornaio.
• The Arsenal, which sounds like a really cool bar in Brentwood.
• The Kitchen for brunch in Silver Lake.
• The oddball flavors at Pazzo Gelato - also in Silver Lake.

Stuff I don't recommend: Eat At Your Own Risk

• St. Nick's on Third. It's a divebar-wannabe full of industry posers.
• Most of the chain Mexican places in the area.
• Tapas at Cha Cha Cha. It's neither authentic nor tasty.
• East India Grill on La Brea.
• All the shishi places on Sunset Strip except Cafe Med. Parking is a nightmare.
• Doughboys. Way too granola-crunching for my taste. Corned beef hash is not supposed to have beets in it!
• Quality Food and Beverage. There’s no reason to go there as long as Toast is right down the street.
• The Popeye's on Hollywood Boulevard. So dry and overpriced.
• The House Benedict at Lulu's Cafe on Beverly. It gave me food poisoning.
• Bungalow Club on Melrose. I never got what the big draw was, it's probably the most boring venue I can think of.
• Buddha's Belly for the wonderfully bastardized Asian fusion food.
• Al-wa-zir Chicken. It's for people who are trying to be cool and different and don't want to admit that Zankou really is the best.
• Soul Folks Cafe, this literal hole in the wall place that served disgusting soul food amid the very intimidatingly sketchy warehouse district of downtown and then had the balls to charge me and my friend $30 each!
• Bourbon Street Shrimp and Grill. Yuck.
• Bar Marmont on Sunset. Parking is a nightmare, it's overpriced, and the inside is pretty dingy.
• Rainbow Bar & Grill on Sunset. Yeah, Guns N Roses used to hang out there, but only go if you’re a die-hard fan, or you really like rubbery cheese pizzas.
• Formosa Cafe & Bar. Historic as it is, it's kind of seedy and the food is not great.
• El Guapo on Melrose (or is it Beverly?). Unless you like going to places overrun with drunk Hollywood assistants acting like idiots.
• Monroe’s on Beverly. A couple years ago it felt like every party that ever happened was hosted here, but it's pretty much just a large square box with a bar and a couple of tables. It gets crowded and loud and otherwise unpleasant.